I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i've created a new STD.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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