i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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