Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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