false alarm. still invincible.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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