Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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