Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
