I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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