I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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