so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i've created a new STD.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
