perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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