now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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