Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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