Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time to smoke my breakfast
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize