like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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