Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
