Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
