i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can't turn off my feet"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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