your thong is hanging out like whoa
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
