I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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