I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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