i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
