you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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