Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
