Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just google imaged poop.
Small penises have feelings too.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
