He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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