Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
