There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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