I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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