Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
