a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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