i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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