burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
