He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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