I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
