hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
