What a fucking waste of an outfit
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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