Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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