i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize