so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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