Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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