I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
