I want to have your abortion
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
