I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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