Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
