I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
