I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
