I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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