You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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