party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
