I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize