His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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