I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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