I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
two words...techno handjob
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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