So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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