I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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